Monday, September 27, 2010

Dancing Week 2!

Rick Fox and Cheryl dance the Jive.  Working with a weak foot, Rick is pronounced a contender with his saucy jive to "Tush" by ZZ Top.  I love Cheryl.  She is so fun.  I loved her frisky chemistry with Chad Ochocinco last year.  Her work with Rick is a little lack luster in comparison, but it's just week two.  Did he seriously just play the air guitar on her leg?

Florence Henderson and Corky dance the quick step to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." I thought it was a weird song for the quick step.  Bruno criticized her for not having any energy, but the music was boring and lacked energy.  All in all a good performance.  She did a good job and, of course, provided some drama arguing with Corky. And a kiss for Lynn!

Ok, check me on this.  Is Brooke Burke wearing clear straps with that barely-hanging-on dress?  Ok, hate me if you have to, but I just think that's tacky.  If you can't keep everything tucked in with just a strapless, then go up a size.  Just because you can wear a size 2, doesn't mean you should.

Ooooo....its Brandy and Max.  I didn't know that Brandy messed up last week.  But Max sure did point it out.  What's with the rock and roll, school girl, lolita-and-nerd costuming this season?  Ok, so they danced the Jive to "Magic."  Her performance was a step back from last week.  It was sloppy and there was no precision in her feet.  I love watching Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus in front of the judges.  Even though he can be a bit of an...a uh...ah...well a meanie, he can get all up on my dance space any time!

Michael and Chelsie dance the jive to "Hound Dog."  Who would have thought that Michael Bolton would turn out to be the big DIVA on the show!?  He's wearing a mask?  He has laryngitis, not swine flu!  I love it!  Watching him dance is PAINFUL!  Michael!  Get your elbow up.  Where's your frame?  he's whining about being over-extended and having a lot on his plate.  Why do you agree to be on Dancing With the Stars while you're performing every night?  Bruno says that its the worst jive in eleven seasons and gets chastised by Lynn for saying too much when he said he needed a pooper scooper to clean up the floor after that dance.  What is that all about?

Here comes Audrina....who looks like a dolphin who got caught in a fish net!  Ok, I don't want to like her, but I like her.  Aw, she's crying.  Ok, she's over it.  The dance is the quickstep.  She has a gorgeous frame and nice posture.  But I feel like she doesn't quite connect with the audience.  She can really move her feet.  Careful getting up, we almost saw a little bit too much under-cleavage there.  And thanks to a little bet made in the studio, Tony gets to wax his legs.  Awesome!

Derek and Jennifer and dancing the jive.  I didn't know that they were at the top of the leader board.  Go girl.  Oh please have a Diva fit.  I didn't know that Dancing was part of how she found out she had cancer.  Ok, after that jive she just shot up to the top of my personal leader board.  I really am starting to like her and maybe be feel a little bad about calling her a whack job.  However, I still like her old nose.
I give Jennifer a big "You go gurl!"  Nobody puts Baby at the bottom of the leader board!

Oh, Lord!  They're letting Sarah Palin talk...much as I admire her, I'm scared.

Margaret Cho is dancing the jive with Louis.  I love watching her discover herself and come out of her shell.  I have to be honest, I didn't really like her before this show, but she is growing on me.  She needs to figure out what to do with her arms, though.  Did Carrie Ann just call her "Cho Cho"?  Ok, that's it.  Margaret Cho has just jumped up to absolutely precious.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are tied for second place on the leader board and are dancing the quick step.  I really enjoy watching him practice--that's the best part.  They were fun to watch, but he needs to get a little lighter on his feet.  I've never seen Lacey dance before and I'm really liking her out of all the professionals.  Kyle is just so lovable.  I hope he stays around for a while.  They've got my vote.

Why does everyone keep referring to Hasselhoff's elimination as "shocking"?  What was shocking about it?  He was horrible.

Kurt and Anna are dancing the jive.  Oooo...dancing to "Danger Zone."  I love that they spray tan.  It cracks me up.  Arms, Kurt, arms.  Anna's legs are killer!  That was a cute jive and it really went better with the music than I expected.  The judges really liked Kurt tonight--they were divided last week.

The Situation!  Here it comes.  What a massive train wreck!  I love it!  It's hilarious that he doesn't know what genre Brian Setzer is.  Wow.  He's bringing a "bazooka" and taking on the quick step?  Wow.  That was a little rough.  There were a couple of nasty situations in there.  He has no frame and he's clunky.  Bless his heart--he's not the brightest crayon in the box.  He's not even in the box.

Mark and Bristol the Pistol went to Alaska.  Sarah, don't do the shimmy!  Awkward.  Thanks, mom, for reminding nervous Bristol that she's dancing in front of 20 million people and going on and on about it. Tonight its the quickstep.  She's hanging on for dear life and she looks terrified, but her feet look good.  I think she'll get more confident as she moves forward.  Aw, she did a good job and I'm actually happier for her than I thought I'd be.  Yay, Bristol.

So, let's recap:  Rick lifts Cheryl's skirt, Florence kisses Lynn, Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus, Brooke is wearing see-through straps (tacky), Michael dances with Laryngitis and crawls around on the floor like a dog, Audrina cries it out at rehearsals and dances in a fishnet while Tony shaves his legs, Jennifer shakes it in gold fringe, Sarah Palin plays guest commentator (yikes!), Margaret discovers herself, Kyle gets a new diet for the duration of the show, apparently its a big surprise that the Hoff didn't return for a second week (Shocker!), Kurt salutes Anna's killer legs, the Situation makes us cry but not in a good way, and Bristol the Pistol's mom reminds her that she's dancing in front of a hundred million people.  Did I get everything?  Good.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dancing is Back!!!

Ok, so lets talk about the premier of Dancing With the Stars.

I thought Audrina did well, and showed a fair amount of cleavage and mid-drift in two different sequined monstrosities.  I did enjoy watching her dance, though.  I thought her legs were too far apart.  Plus, enter the first of the pop songs that inevitably will get stuck in my head and wind up on my iPod by the end of the season.  Up until now I've resisted Katy Perry's "California Girls."  And I've had that song in my head since Audrina and Tony danced to it.

Kurt Warner did was pretty forgettable.  He seems like a nice guy.

Kyle Massey was awesome...and a little dirty for a Disney kid. Wait, what am I talking about?  Look at Miley Cyrus--she pretends to kiss girls on stage.  I love his energy and his spunk and I thought he did really well with the dance.  He is my favorite.

Rick and Cheryl were good--I thought he was graceful and I was really impressed.  I just don't want him to do better than Kyle.

Margaret Cho came out of nowhere with some graceful moves but botched it with some wacky slapstick choreography.  I was touched by her confession that it is difficult for her to think of herself as beautiful and graceful and a lady.

Brandy did very well.  I think she might be this season's ringer.  Of course, she's dancing with Maks from Hot-man-istan.  Who wouldn't work their can off to make him happy?  I don't like Brandy, though. I just don't like her.  No reason.

Bristol Palin impressed with some pretty spunky hip action.  I did laugh out loud when she said that she was an advocate for preventing teen pregnancy.  Of course, I guess you live, you learn.  The judges seemed to be making some sly sex jokes in their comments about her performance.

Florence Henderson seemed like she could give Betty White a run for her money in the dirty old lady department.  Bruno complimented Corky Ballas when he stated that the other guys had it easy working with the younger, more fit girls.  Does that make everyone else old and fat?  Did anybody else see her flash the camera Situation style?  I'm having flashbacks.

Michael Bolton was forgettable, but Chelsea is one of my favorite dancers.  She just rocks.  Of course,  Michael did a lot of whining about how busy  and old he is.  Somebody call the wha-mbulance!

I could not wait to see the Situation bring he club moves to the ballroom.  He really didn't disappoint.  He was under-reahersed and unpolished because he only had 5 days to rehearse.  I think he'll make it back for another show, but his dancing needs a little of that GTL.  (Click here if you  don't know what I'm talking about.)

Jennifer Grey did not disappoint!  Bring that drama, baby.  I'm telling you--watching her just try to goof around for the camera--she's just crazy.  Something's off there.  She cried her eyes out over Swayze (who I heard she just about hated during filming).  Jennifer was all, "It was like I was in a time capsule and he was there and he was young....and I had that hideous nose!"  I actually liked her better with the nose.  However,  drama or no, the girl can dance.  (P.S.  Does anybody else remember that song from Dirty Dancing?  I don't and I had the soundtrack.)

Hasselhoff gave me Buzz Aldrin flashbacks.  I agree with Glen--it's never too early to panic.  But you've got to love the guy's attitude and sense of humor about himself.

So, what about the results?  I really enjoyed the opening dance of the results show with Santana playing "Oye Como Va."  Only Terrel was there with me to appreciate my "play that guiro" comment.  (If you get it, you get it.  If you don't, move on.)  I'm waiting to see who'll dance again (I hope its Kyle) and who will be invited back.  The DVR is doing its magic and I'm watching without commercials.

Tell me what you thought if you watched, and if you didn't --WATCH IT!  You might think its cheesy and stupid, but one show and you'll be hooked.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Need Therapy

Ok, people who watch Grey's Anatomy are gluttons for punishment.  I caught the last season's two part finale tonight just because it caught my eye.  I mean, who isn't irresistibly drawn to a show that has a disclaimer before it advising viewer discretion because of disturbing scenes related to the day's newscast?  If that doesn't say "watch this," what does?

So, spoiler alert, I've seen people live, die, kill, philosophize, confess love, hate, break-up, get back together, find out their pregnant, miscarry, just to name a few.  After two episodes of a show I've never seen before, I think I need therapy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Miss TV

Next week is premier week!  Dancing with the stars, Glee, Castle!  I can't wait.  I never thought I'd say this, but I really do miss TV.  Since last season ended there's this feeling's disgusting to say so, but...emptiness after 7:00.  D is usually in bed by then playing with that yacking, singing, honking, chirping apple.  When I finally plop down on the couch with the remote in my hand I want to get excited about something.  I want to feel the rush of searching the DVR for something to watch while I wait to get far enough behind in the current recordings so that I can just fast forward through the commercials.  And then there's that one magical night of the week when all the stars align to form the perfect line-up.  Last season it was Monday.  There just wasn't enough DVR to go around on Monday nights.  24 was recording on one station.  Big Bang and How I Met Your Mother on another station.  And behind it all, Dancing with the Stars.  We actually had to watch Big Bang with commercials so that the DVR in the living room could record two things at once.  Hey, it's the lesser of two evils.  If you've got to watch something with commercials, at least its only 30 minutes long.  I wonder which night of the week it'll be this season.  On that one special night, the night with the perfect line-up, we go all out.  We hit Sonic, Canes, or--if it's been a particularly hard day--Chili's and we veg out in front of the TV.

Seriously, people.  I used to make fun of people like me.  I used to scoff at crazies who programmed their VCR's.  Little did I know that I was just too lazy to mess with the VCR or I'd have been glued to the set, too.  With the simplicity of the DVR I've finally had to come to terms with my true self.  I'm a couch potato, and I like it.  I enjoy it!  I LONG FOR IT!  If only Top Chef weren't ending just as the fun begins!  If only every season of Project Runway could star Christian Soriano!  If only Castle was run and rerun in syndication until you'd seen every episode at least three times in the course of a month!  I'm so excited I can hardly wait!

In honor of the new season of TV that is upon us, here' something just for fun.  Click here for a list of the Top 10 Television Theme Songs of the 80's complete with video of the intro sequence.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Situation

Ok, I'm sorry.  It's probably the stupidest thing ever, but I just think that Mike Sorrentino's nickname is hilarious.  I mean, he's the Situation (with a capital S).  So I've decided that I need an -ion nickname.  Something catchy like the Annihilation, except that's just too violent.  If you were going to choose such a name for yourself, what -ion word would you be?