Monday, September 27, 2010

Dancing Week 2!

Rick Fox and Cheryl dance the Jive.  Working with a weak foot, Rick is pronounced a contender with his saucy jive to "Tush" by ZZ Top.  I love Cheryl.  She is so fun.  I loved her frisky chemistry with Chad Ochocinco last year.  Her work with Rick is a little lack luster in comparison, but it's just week two.  Did he seriously just play the air guitar on her leg?

Florence Henderson and Corky dance the quick step to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." I thought it was a weird song for the quick step.  Bruno criticized her for not having any energy, but the music was boring and lacked energy.  All in all a good performance.  She did a good job and, of course, provided some drama arguing with Corky. And a kiss for Lynn!

Ok, check me on this.  Is Brooke Burke wearing clear straps with that barely-hanging-on dress?  Ok, hate me if you have to, but I just think that's tacky.  If you can't keep everything tucked in with just a strapless, then go up a size.  Just because you can wear a size 2, doesn't mean you should.

Ooooo....its Brandy and Max.  I didn't know that Brandy messed up last week.  But Max sure did point it out.  What's with the rock and roll, school girl, lolita-and-nerd costuming this season?  Ok, so they danced the Jive to "Magic."  Her performance was a step back from last week.  It was sloppy and there was no precision in her feet.  I love watching Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus in front of the judges.  Even though he can be a bit of an...a uh...ah...well a meanie, he can get all up on my dance space any time!

Michael and Chelsie dance the jive to "Hound Dog."  Who would have thought that Michael Bolton would turn out to be the big DIVA on the show!?  He's wearing a mask?  He has laryngitis, not swine flu!  I love it!  Watching him dance is PAINFUL!  Michael!  Get your elbow up.  Where's your frame?  he's whining about being over-extended and having a lot on his plate.  Why do you agree to be on Dancing With the Stars while you're performing every night?  Bruno says that its the worst jive in eleven seasons and gets chastised by Lynn for saying too much when he said he needed a pooper scooper to clean up the floor after that dance.  What is that all about?

Here comes Audrina....who looks like a dolphin who got caught in a fish net!  Ok, I don't want to like her, but I like her.  Aw, she's crying.  Ok, she's over it.  The dance is the quickstep.  She has a gorgeous frame and nice posture.  But I feel like she doesn't quite connect with the audience.  She can really move her feet.  Careful getting up, we almost saw a little bit too much under-cleavage there.  And thanks to a little bet made in the studio, Tony gets to wax his legs.  Awesome!

Derek and Jennifer and dancing the jive.  I didn't know that they were at the top of the leader board.  Go girl.  Oh please have a Diva fit.  I didn't know that Dancing was part of how she found out she had cancer.  Ok, after that jive she just shot up to the top of my personal leader board.  I really am starting to like her and maybe be feel a little bad about calling her a whack job.  However, I still like her old nose.
I give Jennifer a big "You go gurl!"  Nobody puts Baby at the bottom of the leader board!

Oh, Lord!  They're letting Sarah Palin talk...much as I admire her, I'm scared.

Margaret Cho is dancing the jive with Louis.  I love watching her discover herself and come out of her shell.  I have to be honest, I didn't really like her before this show, but she is growing on me.  She needs to figure out what to do with her arms, though.  Did Carrie Ann just call her "Cho Cho"?  Ok, that's it.  Margaret Cho has just jumped up to absolutely precious.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are tied for second place on the leader board and are dancing the quick step.  I really enjoy watching him practice--that's the best part.  They were fun to watch, but he needs to get a little lighter on his feet.  I've never seen Lacey dance before and I'm really liking her out of all the professionals.  Kyle is just so lovable.  I hope he stays around for a while.  They've got my vote.

Why does everyone keep referring to Hasselhoff's elimination as "shocking"?  What was shocking about it?  He was horrible.

Kurt and Anna are dancing the jive.  Oooo...dancing to "Danger Zone."  I love that they spray tan.  It cracks me up.  Arms, Kurt, arms.  Anna's legs are killer!  That was a cute jive and it really went better with the music than I expected.  The judges really liked Kurt tonight--they were divided last week.

The Situation!  Here it comes.  What a massive train wreck!  I love it!  It's hilarious that he doesn't know what genre Brian Setzer is.  Wow.  He's bringing a "bazooka" and taking on the quick step?  Wow.  That was a little rough.  There were a couple of nasty situations in there.  He has no frame and he's clunky.  Bless his heart--he's not the brightest crayon in the box.  He's not even in the box.

Mark and Bristol the Pistol went to Alaska.  Sarah, don't do the shimmy!  Awkward.  Thanks, mom, for reminding nervous Bristol that she's dancing in front of 20 million people and going on and on about it. Tonight its the quickstep.  She's hanging on for dear life and she looks terrified, but her feet look good.  I think she'll get more confident as she moves forward.  Aw, she did a good job and I'm actually happier for her than I thought I'd be.  Yay, Bristol.

So, let's recap:  Rick lifts Cheryl's skirt, Florence kisses Lynn, Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus, Brooke is wearing see-through straps (tacky), Michael dances with Laryngitis and crawls around on the floor like a dog, Audrina cries it out at rehearsals and dances in a fishnet while Tony shaves his legs, Jennifer shakes it in gold fringe, Sarah Palin plays guest commentator (yikes!), Margaret discovers herself, Kyle gets a new diet for the duration of the show, apparently its a big surprise that the Hoff didn't return for a second week (Shocker!), Kurt salutes Anna's killer legs, the Situation makes us cry but not in a good way, and Bristol the Pistol's mom reminds her that she's dancing in front of a hundred million people.  Did I get everything?  Good.

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