Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Jr. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap: Delightful Delicacy or Dirty Little Secret?

I admit it, I like Sonic's Jr. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap.  Not the big one, the Jr. one.  So, I've decided to write it a love letter.

Dear Jr. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap,

You are my favorite guilty pleasure.  Even though you have no nutritional value whatsoever, I can't pass a Sonic without turning in for a taste of your cheesy goodness.  I used to scoff at the Taco Bell commercials that touted the Crunch Wrap and its "cruncheweesiness."  How ironic that it was you, Sonic Jr. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap, that finally taught me how delightful cruncheweesiness can be.  Your Jr. size makes for the perfect cheese to chili to frito to tortilla ratio.  Thanks to you I can eat Frito Pie while driving.  Combined with the frosty goodness of a Diet Coke with real cherry flavor (not diet--yuck) you have the power to heal what ails me.  And all for under three dollars, especially if I manage to get to Sonic during Happy Hour.  I love you, Jr. Frito Chili Cheese Wrap.  See you tomorrow.

Yours truly,

Another satisfied Sonic customer

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Does anyone else feel like they're playing chicken with the automatic doors at Target?

So, I was walking out of Target today, toward the automatic doors and these are the thoughts that ran through my head:

Ok, this is an automatic door, right?  Because I'm just too tired to actually push the doors open myself...but there are push bars on those doors.  There weren't push bars on the other doors.  They were obviously automatic--there was no other way to open them.  No, these doors are automatic....but why aren't they opening?  Shouldn't they be opening by now?  Just a little?  I mean, I'm on the mat, shouldn't something be happening?  Don't reach out to push them open, people are watching.  Don't do it!  Keep your arm down and walk forward with confidence.  Like Darth Vadar--yeah, like Darth Vadar right through the automatic doors.  Hear the Imperial March and walk through the doors...ok, maybe slow your walk a little to give them time to think about it.  Definitely do not stand there and look around like an idiot.  Ok, last minute--it's now or never!  Open, doors.  OPEN!

Of course, the doors opened and I walked through.  There were a few seconds, though, when I wasn't so sure that the doors were going to open, and I wondered to myself:  Does anyone else ever feel like they're playing chicken with the automatic doors at Target?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Rock and Roll Night on DWTS

Ok, the best thing about this show has been the top ten favorite dances voted on by the viewers.  I didn't expect them to show each dance in its entirety.  I've never seen Julianne Hough  dance but I really enjoyed watching her.  My favorite dance was Derek and Nicole's 50's Paso Doble, but I was late getting into DWTS.  Apollo Ono made more than one appearance, and I was surprised to see how well he danced.  You should Youtube it if you've never seen it.  Cheryl and Drew Lachey's freestyle dance to "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy" was the number one pick by viewers.  I would have put Apollo Ono's Samba to "I Like to Move It" as the best dance, but whatever.

Ok, just in case you didn't know, Rock and Roll night equals Butt Ugly Costume night.  No, seriously--butt ugly.  Even Cheryl Burke's dress is feeling bipolar tonight.

Mark took Audrina to learn how to box so that she could tap into her aggressive side.  It was hilarious--Audrina couldn't beat up a kitten.  Former Hills star or not, I like her.  They're Paso was rock-tastic.  Len got all over her about lack of commitment to the character, but I thought she did better tonight.  And Bruno didn't help.  Carrie Anne was the only person who gave her any useful feedback.  I don't usually like Carrie Anne, but in this case I thought she was the only judge who had anything useful to say.  They got a 24 / 30.  Eights all the way across.

Yay, Kyle and Lacey are next.  The judges were awful last week.  Kyle is my favorite and he is second from the bottom!  They need to rock this Tango!!!  They always end their dances with some kind of kissey embrace and it kinda gives me the willies.  Bruno is excited.  Even Len said it was much better.  I think he just wanted them to stop being all cutesie and innovative and just do the dance, ya know.  The crowd loved the dance.  23 / 30

Jennifer and Derek apparently did a "bad" Fox Trot last week, and this week their Paso was a little out of control.  They got a 20 / 30.   Geese!  Those are the scores heard round the world.  The dance was a little scary and Jennifer got a little dizzy there at the end.

Rick and Cheryl are dancing the Tango.  They definitely get the trophy for best costumes of the night--hair and all.  Rick is wearing eye liner.  I thought their dance was awesome.  Crazy eights-- 24 / 30

Martha Stewart is in the audience.  Terrel poses an interesting question:  would we want to see Martha on DWTS?  and how would she do?

Here comes Bristol with Tony.  They're dressed like they're dancing to "76 Trombones."  Bristol wants to play air guitar during the Tango--we'll see how that works out.  Holy moly.  Who is this!?  I think she's doing way better.  And I liked the air guitar.  Len dropped her a point for breaking the hold, whatever that means.  Oh, when they did the air guitar thing.  Apparently, when you start the tango, you can't let go until the dance is over.  Whatever, Len.  Whatever.  I thought she rocked (no pun intended).  23 / 30, their best scores yet.

NEXT WEEK IS DWTS 500th EPISODE.  The former winners are coming back to dance on the show.

Kurt and Anna had Brett Michaels in their rehearsal and it was hilarious.   I don't know how much he'sgonna help with a Rock Paso Doble, but it does beg the question:  How would Brett do on the show? Dude!  Is Anna in a thong?  Watch the frying pans, Kurt!  I think in his effort to fix the frying pan hands, Kurt has moved on to flippers.  The judges thought it was awkward and Bruno thought he was more Jackie Chan than Antonio Banderas.  Ah...a nugget of wisdom from Brett Michaels:  Being a rock star is all about how you feel inside.  18 / 30  Did Cheryl Burke just call Kurt Rick?

This has been a very boo-ey audience.  Angry rock mob.

Brandy is back on the diva train, whining to Maks about the Tango.  I love it...but I don't like my Maks getting so friendly with Brandy.  Much as I hat to admit it, I think theirs was easily the best dance of the night.  They fumbled a couple of steps, and I think Maks almost fell over once, but they did a good job.  26  / 30 --the highest score of the night.

While they get ready for the dance marathon, is anyone else wondering why Brandy is near tears about wanting this trophy?  I mean, I get it being important and all, but "it's everything to me," seems a little intense.  But, I'm not there in the heat of the competition, so who knows how I'd feel if I were in her shoes.

Brandy and Maks won the dance marathon, with Derek and Jennifer following close behind.  And Derek and his partners have won it for the last two years.  My favorites, Kyle and Lacey, made it to the final four, but were eliminated shortly afterwards.

Recap:  Cheryl gets the best dance ever when saves a horse by riding cowboy, Drew Lachey;  Everybody's wearing ugly rock and roll costumes, even Cheryl Burke;  Audrina's Paso had more character, but not enough;  Kyle rocked the Tango and will hopefully move back up the leader board;  Jennifer got a little crazy and spiraled out of control during her Paso; Rick gets a mohawk and wears guy liner for his Tango;  Martha Stewart?;  Bristol's Tango--complete with air guitar--is  her best dance yet;  next week is DWTS 500th episode; Brett Michaels fails to help Kurt get better scores with his rock Paso--making this dance, possibly, his "Final Countdown";  Brandy and Maks had a bang-up night with the best scores and winning the dance marathon.  And that's all, folks.

Castle's on...gotta go.

Monday, October 18, 2010

TV Theme Week on DWTS

This past week has been crazy.  I feel like anything and everything that could happen has happened.  Some kind of drama has touched every aspect of my life.  But everyone is healthy and happy, despite all drama, and for that I'm thankful.  AND...It's Monday, which means DWTS is on, and then Castle!

Maks and Brandy dance first:  the Quickstep to the Friends theme.  You've just gotta love Maks's Ross hair!  Len said that it was her best dance yet and Bruno broke his pen counting on Brandy to mess up.  Carrie anne had to get all goo goo eyed and emote-isophical on us about how what doesn't break us only makes us stronger.  She kinda aggravates me some times.  She's just cheesy.  Brandy and Maks got nines across the board.

OMG!*  Has anyone seen the Target commercial where the mom makes a homemade iron man costume with the round touch light taped to the kid's shirt?  I thought I'd never stop laughing.

Florence and Corky are, of course, dancing the Tango to the Brady Bunch theme.  "Greg" stopped by the studio and made us all feel awkward.  Am i the only person who notices that Florence has not frame whatsoever?  Did anyone get the rag doll head action?  She's trying to be funny, I guess.  Honestly, I just don't get it.  The judges seem to like her, but I don't see anything to write home about, or rather, blog about.  Seven's across the board.

Kurt and Anna are dancing the Quickstep to the Bewitched theme.  i thought the dance was super cute.  If you didn't see it, Kurt started out fumbling around and she twitched her nose and he started dancing like Gene Kelley.  The judges were happy with the improvement.  Can anyone explain Anna's dress to me?  I just don't get it.  The bodice looks like something off of say yes to the dress (one of the top designers on the show likes to do the see through bustier bodice) mixed with something Ginger Rodgers would wear.  Straight eights.

Audrina and Tony are dancing the Rumba to the Hills theme.  Dude Audrina ate onions during the rehearsals to lessen the tension.  I thought this was a lackluster dance.  I'm not really sure how the dance is supposed to relate to the music.  She needs to move her hips more.  She seems wooden.  This was not a very sensual dance, but maybe it wasn't supposed to be.  Bruno dropped a gem of wisdom on us, "Don't be plastic, be fantastic."  Carrie Anne freaked out over a possible lift and Bruno made fun of her.  It was awesome.  I think they got straight eights.  

Kyle and Lacey were so ridiculously cute dancing the Fox Trot to the Charlie's Angels theme.  Bruno knocked it for being too much disco and not enough fox trot.  Len is a killjoy, but Carrie Anne liked it.  Their dances are so much fun.  Their scores were 8-5-7.  Lacey laughed it off.  Still, I don't see how she kept those pants on because they were super low riders.  SUPER LOW.  I think she should get points for staying in her costume.

Rick and Cheryl danced the Rhumba to the Hill Street Blues theme.  This one made me feel kind of sad and sentimental.  I can remember that theme from when my dad watched it when I was a little girl.  That's a LONG time ago.  But that had nothing to do with the dance.  Rick did a good job, but Len didn't approve.  He thought that it looked like a couple that was staying together for the kids, not a couple falling in love.  Whatever.  They did a good job, but I prefer the more bedroom-y costumes.  They just make more sense.  Straight eights.

Bristol and mark are dancing the jive to the Monkeys theme.  Mark made Bristol take clown lessons.  Dude!  I'm creeped out.  They're dancing in gorilla costumes.  But I think Bristol was a little confused.  Her personality was better but her dancing wasn't as good.  Bristol hates the jive.  Does anyone else think Mark looks teeny tiny next to Bristol.  I'm not saying that she's big, I'm saying that he just looks teeny tiny.  They got sixes from all of the judges.

Yay!  Jennifer and Derek are next!  Bring on the drama.  They've been teasing it all night.  Don't let me down!  She has really staked her entire career comeback on this show.  She's also guest starring on House this week.  Aw, that's nothing I don't do.  Sometimes you just take things personally and you need to take a minute to get over it.  Jennifer and Derek did a great job dancing the Fox Trot to the theme from Married With Children.  Len was negative, as always, but Bruno and Carrie Anne liked it.  Jennifer is just so good, and when I watch her learning the dance, I get Dirty Dancing flashbacks.  It's hard to see "Baby" in Jennifer's face now, but every so often you can catch it in her expressions.  The judges gave them two eights and nine.

So, Brandy and Maks sit at the top of the leader board with a 27, and Bristol and Mark are at the bottom with 19.  Castle's on, gotta go.

* Oh My Goodness

Monday, October 11, 2010

DWTS: Acoustic Night

I'm sorry that Cho Cho won't be back this week, but she did make me mad last week and I think her little political coming out parade backfired a little.  I was enjoying Margaret's metamorphosis though, and I am sorry that we won't see her dance tonight.  But, the show must go on.  Tonight is acoustic night on a raised round floor...with boring music.

Kurt and Anna's Rumba was really good.  And I really liked that Kurt felt a little uncomfortable gettin' freaky on the dance floor with a woman other than his wife.  The more I see the more I like him as a dancer.  Bruno's right, he does swing his hands around like great big frying pans.  The scores were really low:  24 / 60.  I thought they did better than that.  P.S.  Happy Anniversary Kurt and whatever-his-wife's-name-is.

Maks and Brandy are dancing the Rumba as well, and Brandy is having a hard time with it...and so he takes her on a date with some thang on his head.  I really did like this heart went a little pitter pat there for a second.  But I loooooove Maks.  We almost got Maks to take his shirt of there at the end, but it was all just a tease! ;)  48 / 60.  It was a good dance, but I still can't like Brandy.

Rick and Cheryl bring us the Argentine Tango.  Rick looked nervous but I thought he did a good job.  What's with the stache?  Carrie Anne was right, that the dance was a little one dimentional and it did lose energy--I actually got a little bored.  The lifts were cool, though.  39 / 60.  The judges have been brutal tonight.

Kyle and Lacey are dancing the Rumba.  I love watching Kyle in the behind-the-scenes footage.  He and Lacey are hilarious together.  I don't care what Len, Lynn, whatever...I don't care what he says.  I LOVED IT.  Kyle's player attitude and face are classic.  I just love him.  Whatever the case, theirs was the first dance tonight where I wasn't bored.  Dude!  40 / 60.  The judges are brutal.  Nasty judges.  They all complained about his arm movements being smooth, then sharp, but I thought that was just a little added attitude to go along with the spirit and feeling of the song.  Kind of rumba meets hip hop.  I loved it.  So there.

The Situation and Karina are dancing the Argentine Tango and it's really a little painful.  The lifts are cool, but he's like a muscle man lifting weights and he doesn't know what to do with his feet.  She just dances around him for a minute and then he throws her in the air.  I side with Bruno that it was really really terrible.  I haven't seen awkwardness like that since Kate Goslin last season.  Dude, I just caught a glimpse of Karina's hair--what's up with that mess? 28 / 60.  Lowest score of the night so far.

Florence and Corky are dancing the Rumba:  the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.  The behind the scenes footage was hilarious, but the dance was kinda horrible.  Tom just declared it the season eleven get a room dance.  It is kind of weird to see Carol Brady gettin' inappropriate on the dance floor. P.S.  Did anyone else miss the fact that Mark is Corky's son?  By the way, I thought his name was Tony, so I don't know what I called him in last week's post. 35 / 60

Jennifer and Derek are dancing the Argentine Tango.  Jennifer is being a little of a diva.  I really kind of a have a crush on Derek, too.  He's kind of hot.  I love watching Jennifer dance.  She can kick, stretch, and kick!  She's fifty!  The piano playing bit at the beginning of the dance was cute.  Bruno really liked her dance and made her squeal with his usual flamboyant comments.  56 / 60.  Theirs was an awesome dance.

I'm going to take a time out and say that I'm predicting Kyle and Jennifer in the finale with, maybe, Brandy.  I think they'll go top three.  Kyle's personality will carry him to the finals, so let it be written.

Bristol and Mark are doing the Rumba.  I think theirs would be a cute showmance.  Wait a minute, I just got a little creeped out.  She yanked his shirt off and then he got all weird and nuzzly at the end of the song.  It was one of those, "Uh, are we still acting?" moments.  Seriously, I blushed.  I knew Len would hate the shirt off stuff.  I do like Bristol and I think she has potential.  I just wish she'd let lose a little bit.  I can attest to the fact that being a mom does make a girl feel not-so-sexy.  Dude, I think Mark might be puttin' the moves on Bristol right in front of her mom.  32 / 60 was pretty stinky.

Audrina and Tony are next with the Argentine Tango.  Can't wait to see what kind of skinnamax outfit she's got on tonight.  She never disappoints.  Ok, I have to be honest, I was bored during the dance.  There just isn't any energy, no saucy power.  I like Audrina and I think she's a good dancer, and maybe it could be either her or Brandy in the finals, but I still think it will definitely be Jennifer and most likely Kyle.  46 / 60

Let's review:  Kurt and Anna got permission from his wife to get freaky on the dance floor on her anniversary; Maks took Brandy on a date to make her feel romantic and said, "here's all the romantic stuff:  candles, chocalte, roses, wine," like he was checking off a list;   Rick and Cheryl danced a boring Tango; Lacey coached Kyle through is burgeoning sexuality (a little awkward, but an awesome dance--the dance so nice I watched it twice); The Situation tossed Karina around the dance floor; Corky and Florence made us all feel like we just walked in on our parents, if you know what I mean;  Jennifer and Derek proved that he will most likely win the Mirror Ball Trophy two years in a row; Mark shows Bristol the difference between sensual and trashy (if you missed it, google it or watch it on youtube.  It's worth it.); Audrina and Tony just do ok with the Argentine Tango.

That's all I gotta say for tonight.  I'm predicting the either Bristol or The Situation will go home tomorrow night.  Maybe Florence.  Most likely The Situation.  What do you think?

Ooo!  Castle.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Blast From the Past

For the past few weeks I've been reading the diary of Sarah Morgan, a girl who lived through the civil war in Baton Rouge and wrote down all that she experienced during that time.  It's really cool to read about real people and real places through a young girl's eyes.  The introduction said that before she died she sat down and read them all (there were six volumes), editing and expanding on her memories.  Her original intent had been to destroy them, but her son convinced her that they were too important to burn.  Now her diary is considered one of the best sources for civil war history buffs.  

I started wondering about things I've written along the way and how I would feel reading them now.  I kept another blog back in 205 and 2006, but I figured it was long gone, deleted.  But it's still out there.  I wanted to merge it with this account, but couldn't because the old email address is gone.  So, I've added it to my links section.  Check it out if you want to.  If you're one of my old Blogger friends, you can also link to your old blogs from the Sarah's Soapbox page, in case your looking.  Reading Sarah Morgan's diary has made me think about how we all have a history to report.  I really enjoyed looking back and reading my own.  :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Panty-Waist Football

I'm gonna start another twitter account:  @$%! My Dad Says About Les Miles.  Dad can't stand Les Miles.  And after tonight's game, neither can I.  Yes, I'm one of those unreasonably disgruntled Tiger Fans, mad because our coach isn't winning the way I want him to.  Anyway, watching the game with Dad is always a hoot.  The running topic tonight was Miles' preference for Jefferson over Lee and the fact that he only seems to want to run the ball.  Tonight was full of classics, but my favorite was "I think it's against his religion to score a touchdown by passing the ball."

Look, I'm just a little ole girl, but it just seems that with LSU's defense and a Lee-led offense, they could turn themselves into serious contenders.  Jefferson just doesn't impress me.  Lee passes better, moves the ball faster, and just gets it done.  And it seems that his successful drives end in touchdowns, while Jefferson's end in field goals.  I mean, I'm no Michelle Beadle, but that's just what I think.

And when did all football players become panty-waists?  It seems like every time you turn around there's some mamby pamby penalty for something like pass interference.  DUDE?  Why don't we just stand back and clap while they catch the ball.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm no idiot.  My hubby has explained the logistical problems.  The game would get pretty boring if the receivers were down as soon as the ball was snapped.  For the sake of making the game more interesting, I've decided that maybe we can leave that one alone...but it still seems like, "Hey, that big, bad winebacker pushed me down before I could catch the bawl in the inzone fow a touchdown."  (Sniff sniff)  As for the rest of it:

Holding?  For it.
Roughing the Passer?  For it.
Clipping?  For it.
Personal Foul?  For it.
Face Mask?  For it.
Unnecessary Roughness?  For it.
Tripping?  For it.
Eye Poking?  For it.
Clotheslining?  For it.
Givin'em the business?  For it.

No more Panty-Waist Football.

Addendum:  #$@! My Dad Says About tonight's Football Coverage:  We almost missed a play because they cut to one of the announcers cutting a pizza, then they cut away from coverage again to the guy eating the pizza.  Dad got frustrated because they seemed to have the camera on everything but the game.  When they cut back to the two commentators talking about the pizza, Dad said, "Why can't we just watch the game?  Why don't y'all do a cooking show!?"

Addendum to the Addendum:  Jefferson just passed the ball in the 4th quarter of the Florida game and actually completed the pass.  In his shock dad shouted, "Well, whaddaya know!  The blind hog found an acern."  (acorn)

Thursday, October 7, 2010


Here lately, I feel more like a pack mule than a mom.  With every week that passes I find I'm carrying another bag around.  This working mom had to consolidate.  Finding a purse big enough wasn't the problem.  I was having trouble finding one sturdy enough to withstand the weight of school books, computer, emergency make-up, ginormous wallet (empty, by the way), note pad, bills, spilt coffee, blah blah blah.  The straps always wear out.  Whether they're leather or whatever the straps always wear out.  Not anymore!  I think I may have found my super purse.

It's a Merona Casual Work Tote packed with pockets and a computer cover, phone cover, zippers, clips, you name it.  It's a nylon tote, so I can wipe the spilt coffee off, and the straps are made out of that thick nylon stuff they use to jump out of airplanes and strap heavy things down with big metal buckles with teeth.  And I don't have to feel bad about the not-so-fahsionista fabric because I saw a very similar bag suggested in the recent Style Watch issue of People.

Ok, so they're nothing alike, but I like mine better anyhow.  I do wish mine had some hard core stud detail on it, but it is what it is.  They do both have big round rings connecting the straps to the bag.  Maybe I could bedazzle my super purse to make it more of a bull dog?  Nah.

Tomorrow is my super purse's maiden voyage and there's nothing like a new, freshly organized bag to make going to work in the morning a little more exciting.  

Yay, Super Purse!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Story Night on Dancing

Ok, so I'm a little behind, but I was on the quest for a binky when Dancing started.  Warning:  I give my opinion freely about some rather sensitive issues, so if you can't handle it, stop here. :)

Jennifer Grey is dancing the Samba...and cursing about it...IN THE UGLIEST PANTS EVER!  Oooo a Samba roll--they're eating sushi?  But what a cute dance.  I'm officially hot for teacher.  I loved that they proved that they could do the moves that they messed up on.  Am I the only one who thinks Jennifer is just a little on the loopy side?

Florence is dancing the Venetian waltz...and making us all cry with her story about her husband.  She's really sweet when she's not being dirty.  I did not know that she'd gotten her start on Broadway.  She played Maria Von Trapp in front of Maria Von Trapp.  Gross!  Did they just kiss?  The waltz was a little clunky.  Carrie Anne is always so mushy and touchy feely.  She kind of gives me the heebie jeebies.

Dude!  What is it with these divas!?  First it was Bolton, now Susan Boyle has a throat infection.  Drama, drama, drama.

Kurt Warner is right--he does look like a big tree funning around the dance floor...and Gene Kelly now that he has the umbrella.  The fact that he wore a tiara while having a tea party with his daughters is awesome.  I don't think that Len is going to like the pantomiming in the beginning of the dance.  he usually wants them to just get to the dancing.  But, it is story night, so maybe he'll feel differently.   Bruno kills me with the "frying pan" hands bit!  I didn't like their waltz as much as the judges did.

Cho Cho's dancing the Samba.  Here we go.  Forgive me, but Louis always has to do some relatively controversial and somehow make it all about him and his sexual persuasion.  Look, I'll shoot strait with you--I DON'T CARE.  Last season it was him and Nissi and mixed gender relationships and somehow that got back to him and gay marriage, sniff sniff, tear tear.  I really don't like to have gay pride thrown in my face.  What are the hetero pride colors and how would the community at large feel if we started celebrating that?  Is heterosexuality still cool?  When are we going to see that dance?  Guess what, heterosexual teenagers commit suicide too.  No offense to anyone out there.  I could care less about sexual persuasion and I don't want yours thrown in my face.  And the dance wasn't even good.

Dude.  Audrina's dance actually made me a little teary.  Then, Tom ruined it by calling Tony the smoke monster from Lost.  I really liked the dance and I'm impressed with Audrina.  Why can't we clap as loudly for for the troops as we did for the previous demonstration?  Tony waxed his legs--that's awesome

I'm proud of Bristol for promoting abstinence as a real option for teenage girls.  The fox trot was sweet, but lackluster.  The story didn't come through.  I think she needs to get more into her character.  But she is doing well for someone who has never danced before.  Did you see Bruno nearly smack Len in the head when he rolled his?

Brandy...still don't like her.  Maks slaps her on the bottom a lot.  The Bodygaurd?  Really?  Brandy, Whitney Houston you ain't.  Whatever.  I thought the dance was cute.  Brandy loves the body roll.  Len didn't like the bottom slapping and Bruno practically redanced the dance for us.  Don't call Brandy a Diva--her head is big enough already.  Oooo Carrie Anne was looking for some Maks "Tush" and got DENIED!  However, Maks got some Tom tush.  I thought the dance was good.  But just in case you missed it--I don't like Brandy.

Here comes Kyle!  That is the first time I've ever heard the words "meet cute" outside of the movie Holiday.  I love kyle for making out with himself.  Why is she a waitress with a bare midrift?  His dancing was so much better this week.  Seriously, Carrie Anne embarrasses me.  Len didn't like the footwork.  Pbbbbbbbt! :(

Extra:  I should start a Twitter account called "@#$! My Dad Says About Dancing With the Stars."  Last week he said Lacey was built like a Russian female wrastler (yes that's an a, not an e) that she has a rear end about like this (holding hands out wide).  I love her--she's not a waif and I can identify with that.

The Situation tries to dance ballroom to hip hop.  He cannot stop thinking about sex!  Awesome, she's wearing a GTD shirt (gym, tan, dance).  Awe, he doesn't want an elimination situation.  Now we're going to time travel fox trot.  Ok, so his carriage is better, but his clunkiness is sad.  Did anyone notice the horrible accent when the band was singing the Boom Boom Pow lyrics?  I thought he tried hard and I can respect that.  Yes, I put "respect" and "The Situation" in the same thought.  One point twenty one gigawats!?  (I just wanted to say it.)

Rick is going to dance the Samba, but he looks like a sasquatch.  Big Foot like Cheryl.  Big Foot trust Cheryl.  Eiw!  Old man chest.  Did you catch The Situation checking his own abs to reassure himself that his abs were better?  I thought it was a good dance.  There were some dancing tree moments for Rick.  Maybe I'm just not used to seeing a tall guy dance ballroom.  Cheryl's hot.  I'm a girl, so I can say that.

Recap:  Jennifer Grey does a Samba roll, which sounds delicious, Florence kisses Corky this week, Kurt goes pinkies out and wears a tiara, Cho Cho and Louis put on a gay pride parade,  Audrina dances with the smoke monster from Lost, Bristol is sweet but lackluster, Brandy and Maks slap people around, Kyle is just adorable but Len doesn't like it, The Situation and Karina coin a new catch phrase--GTD--and dance a freaky futuristic Foxtrot, and Rick Fox had to prove to Cheryl that he could be sexy.

Gotta Go!  Castle's on.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Dancing Week 2!

Rick Fox and Cheryl dance the Jive.  Working with a weak foot, Rick is pronounced a contender with his saucy jive to "Tush" by ZZ Top.  I love Cheryl.  She is so fun.  I loved her frisky chemistry with Chad Ochocinco last year.  Her work with Rick is a little lack luster in comparison, but it's just week two.  Did he seriously just play the air guitar on her leg?

Florence Henderson and Corky dance the quick step to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." I thought it was a weird song for the quick step.  Bruno criticized her for not having any energy, but the music was boring and lacked energy.  All in all a good performance.  She did a good job and, of course, provided some drama arguing with Corky. And a kiss for Lynn!

Ok, check me on this.  Is Brooke Burke wearing clear straps with that barely-hanging-on dress?  Ok, hate me if you have to, but I just think that's tacky.  If you can't keep everything tucked in with just a strapless, then go up a size.  Just because you can wear a size 2, doesn't mean you should.

Ooooo....its Brandy and Max.  I didn't know that Brandy messed up last week.  But Max sure did point it out.  What's with the rock and roll, school girl, lolita-and-nerd costuming this season?  Ok, so they danced the Jive to "Magic."  Her performance was a step back from last week.  It was sloppy and there was no precision in her feet.  I love watching Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus in front of the judges.  Even though he can be a bit of an...a uh...ah...well a meanie, he can get all up on my dance space any time!

Michael and Chelsie dance the jive to "Hound Dog."  Who would have thought that Michael Bolton would turn out to be the big DIVA on the show!?  He's wearing a mask?  He has laryngitis, not swine flu!  I love it!  Watching him dance is PAINFUL!  Michael!  Get your elbow up.  Where's your frame?  he's whining about being over-extended and having a lot on his plate.  Why do you agree to be on Dancing With the Stars while you're performing every night?  Bruno says that its the worst jive in eleven seasons and gets chastised by Lynn for saying too much when he said he needed a pooper scooper to clean up the floor after that dance.  What is that all about?

Here comes Audrina....who looks like a dolphin who got caught in a fish net!  Ok, I don't want to like her, but I like her.  Aw, she's crying.  Ok, she's over it.  The dance is the quickstep.  She has a gorgeous frame and nice posture.  But I feel like she doesn't quite connect with the audience.  She can really move her feet.  Careful getting up, we almost saw a little bit too much under-cleavage there.  And thanks to a little bet made in the studio, Tony gets to wax his legs.  Awesome!

Derek and Jennifer and dancing the jive.  I didn't know that they were at the top of the leader board.  Go girl.  Oh please have a Diva fit.  I didn't know that Dancing was part of how she found out she had cancer.  Ok, after that jive she just shot up to the top of my personal leader board.  I really am starting to like her and maybe be feel a little bad about calling her a whack job.  However, I still like her old nose.
I give Jennifer a big "You go gurl!"  Nobody puts Baby at the bottom of the leader board!

Oh, Lord!  They're letting Sarah Palin talk...much as I admire her, I'm scared.

Margaret Cho is dancing the jive with Louis.  I love watching her discover herself and come out of her shell.  I have to be honest, I didn't really like her before this show, but she is growing on me.  She needs to figure out what to do with her arms, though.  Did Carrie Ann just call her "Cho Cho"?  Ok, that's it.  Margaret Cho has just jumped up to absolutely precious.

Kyle Massey and Lacey are tied for second place on the leader board and are dancing the quick step.  I really enjoy watching him practice--that's the best part.  They were fun to watch, but he needs to get a little lighter on his feet.  I've never seen Lacey dance before and I'm really liking her out of all the professionals.  Kyle is just so lovable.  I hope he stays around for a while.  They've got my vote.

Why does everyone keep referring to Hasselhoff's elimination as "shocking"?  What was shocking about it?  He was horrible.

Kurt and Anna are dancing the jive.  Oooo...dancing to "Danger Zone."  I love that they spray tan.  It cracks me up.  Arms, Kurt, arms.  Anna's legs are killer!  That was a cute jive and it really went better with the music than I expected.  The judges really liked Kurt tonight--they were divided last week.

The Situation!  Here it comes.  What a massive train wreck!  I love it!  It's hilarious that he doesn't know what genre Brian Setzer is.  Wow.  He's bringing a "bazooka" and taking on the quick step?  Wow.  That was a little rough.  There were a couple of nasty situations in there.  He has no frame and he's clunky.  Bless his heart--he's not the brightest crayon in the box.  He's not even in the box.

Mark and Bristol the Pistol went to Alaska.  Sarah, don't do the shimmy!  Awkward.  Thanks, mom, for reminding nervous Bristol that she's dancing in front of 20 million people and going on and on about it. Tonight its the quickstep.  She's hanging on for dear life and she looks terrified, but her feet look good.  I think she'll get more confident as she moves forward.  Aw, she did a good job and I'm actually happier for her than I thought I'd be.  Yay, Bristol.

So, let's recap:  Rick lifts Cheryl's skirt, Florence kisses Lynn, Brandy and Max throw each other under the bus, Brooke is wearing see-through straps (tacky), Michael dances with Laryngitis and crawls around on the floor like a dog, Audrina cries it out at rehearsals and dances in a fishnet while Tony shaves his legs, Jennifer shakes it in gold fringe, Sarah Palin plays guest commentator (yikes!), Margaret discovers herself, Kyle gets a new diet for the duration of the show, apparently its a big surprise that the Hoff didn't return for a second week (Shocker!), Kurt salutes Anna's killer legs, the Situation makes us cry but not in a good way, and Bristol the Pistol's mom reminds her that she's dancing in front of a hundred million people.  Did I get everything?  Good.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dancing is Back!!!

Ok, so lets talk about the premier of Dancing With the Stars.

I thought Audrina did well, and showed a fair amount of cleavage and mid-drift in two different sequined monstrosities.  I did enjoy watching her dance, though.  I thought her legs were too far apart.  Plus, enter the first of the pop songs that inevitably will get stuck in my head and wind up on my iPod by the end of the season.  Up until now I've resisted Katy Perry's "California Girls."  And I've had that song in my head since Audrina and Tony danced to it.

Kurt Warner did was pretty forgettable.  He seems like a nice guy.

Kyle Massey was awesome...and a little dirty for a Disney kid. Wait, what am I talking about?  Look at Miley Cyrus--she pretends to kiss girls on stage.  I love his energy and his spunk and I thought he did really well with the dance.  He is my favorite.

Rick and Cheryl were good--I thought he was graceful and I was really impressed.  I just don't want him to do better than Kyle.

Margaret Cho came out of nowhere with some graceful moves but botched it with some wacky slapstick choreography.  I was touched by her confession that it is difficult for her to think of herself as beautiful and graceful and a lady.

Brandy did very well.  I think she might be this season's ringer.  Of course, she's dancing with Maks from Hot-man-istan.  Who wouldn't work their can off to make him happy?  I don't like Brandy, though. I just don't like her.  No reason.

Bristol Palin impressed with some pretty spunky hip action.  I did laugh out loud when she said that she was an advocate for preventing teen pregnancy.  Of course, I guess you live, you learn.  The judges seemed to be making some sly sex jokes in their comments about her performance.

Florence Henderson seemed like she could give Betty White a run for her money in the dirty old lady department.  Bruno complimented Corky Ballas when he stated that the other guys had it easy working with the younger, more fit girls.  Does that make everyone else old and fat?  Did anybody else see her flash the camera Situation style?  I'm having flashbacks.

Michael Bolton was forgettable, but Chelsea is one of my favorite dancers.  She just rocks.  Of course,  Michael did a lot of whining about how busy  and old he is.  Somebody call the wha-mbulance!

I could not wait to see the Situation bring he club moves to the ballroom.  He really didn't disappoint.  He was under-reahersed and unpolished because he only had 5 days to rehearse.  I think he'll make it back for another show, but his dancing needs a little of that GTL.  (Click here if you  don't know what I'm talking about.)

Jennifer Grey did not disappoint!  Bring that drama, baby.  I'm telling you--watching her just try to goof around for the camera--she's just crazy.  Something's off there.  She cried her eyes out over Swayze (who I heard she just about hated during filming).  Jennifer was all, "It was like I was in a time capsule and he was there and he was young....and I had that hideous nose!"  I actually liked her better with the nose.  However,  drama or no, the girl can dance.  (P.S.  Does anybody else remember that song from Dirty Dancing?  I don't and I had the soundtrack.)

Hasselhoff gave me Buzz Aldrin flashbacks.  I agree with Glen--it's never too early to panic.  But you've got to love the guy's attitude and sense of humor about himself.

So, what about the results?  I really enjoyed the opening dance of the results show with Santana playing "Oye Como Va."  Only Terrel was there with me to appreciate my "play that guiro" comment.  (If you get it, you get it.  If you don't, move on.)  I'm waiting to see who'll dance again (I hope its Kyle) and who will be invited back.  The DVR is doing its magic and I'm watching without commercials.

Tell me what you thought if you watched, and if you didn't --WATCH IT!  You might think its cheesy and stupid, but one show and you'll be hooked.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I Need Therapy

Ok, people who watch Grey's Anatomy are gluttons for punishment.  I caught the last season's two part finale tonight just because it caught my eye.  I mean, who isn't irresistibly drawn to a show that has a disclaimer before it advising viewer discretion because of disturbing scenes related to the day's newscast?  If that doesn't say "watch this," what does?

So, spoiler alert, I've seen people live, die, kill, philosophize, confess love, hate, break-up, get back together, find out their pregnant, miscarry, just to name a few.  After two episodes of a show I've never seen before, I think I need therapy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Miss TV

Next week is premier week!  Dancing with the stars, Glee, Castle!  I can't wait.  I never thought I'd say this, but I really do miss TV.  Since last season ended there's this feeling's disgusting to say so, but...emptiness after 7:00.  D is usually in bed by then playing with that yacking, singing, honking, chirping apple.  When I finally plop down on the couch with the remote in my hand I want to get excited about something.  I want to feel the rush of searching the DVR for something to watch while I wait to get far enough behind in the current recordings so that I can just fast forward through the commercials.  And then there's that one magical night of the week when all the stars align to form the perfect line-up.  Last season it was Monday.  There just wasn't enough DVR to go around on Monday nights.  24 was recording on one station.  Big Bang and How I Met Your Mother on another station.  And behind it all, Dancing with the Stars.  We actually had to watch Big Bang with commercials so that the DVR in the living room could record two things at once.  Hey, it's the lesser of two evils.  If you've got to watch something with commercials, at least its only 30 minutes long.  I wonder which night of the week it'll be this season.  On that one special night, the night with the perfect line-up, we go all out.  We hit Sonic, Canes, or--if it's been a particularly hard day--Chili's and we veg out in front of the TV.

Seriously, people.  I used to make fun of people like me.  I used to scoff at crazies who programmed their VCR's.  Little did I know that I was just too lazy to mess with the VCR or I'd have been glued to the set, too.  With the simplicity of the DVR I've finally had to come to terms with my true self.  I'm a couch potato, and I like it.  I enjoy it!  I LONG FOR IT!  If only Top Chef weren't ending just as the fun begins!  If only every season of Project Runway could star Christian Soriano!  If only Castle was run and rerun in syndication until you'd seen every episode at least three times in the course of a month!  I'm so excited I can hardly wait!

In honor of the new season of TV that is upon us, here' something just for fun.  Click here for a list of the Top 10 Television Theme Songs of the 80's complete with video of the intro sequence.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Situation

Ok, I'm sorry.  It's probably the stupidest thing ever, but I just think that Mike Sorrentino's nickname is hilarious.  I mean, he's the Situation (with a capital S).  So I've decided that I need an -ion nickname.  Something catchy like the Annihilation, except that's just too violent.  If you were going to choose such a name for yourself, what -ion word would you be?

Monday, August 30, 2010

Dancing With the Stars Lineup TBA Tonight!

Tonight's the night!  DWTS announced the season 11 lineup.  On the women's side:
  1. Brandy
  2. Jennifer Grey
  3. Margaret Cho
  4. Audrina Patridge
  5. Florence Henderson
  6. Bristol Palin
Well, so far there's no definite ringer.  Last season, Nicole Scherzinger was a shoe in from episode 1.  It kind-of took away from the excitement.  Then there was Evan Lysacek.  I guess he struggled because he had a hard time pointing his toes and being...not-lyrical (I don't know what the opposite of lyrical is).  Jennifer Grey might have a little more dance experience than the others, but Patrick Swayze might have had something to say about what kind of partner she'll make.  I smell drama.  Audrina Patridge doesn't appear too promising.  She's attractive and will look goo din all of those skimpy outfits, but she doesn't strike me as someone who would be very coordinated.  She's all legs and arms.  Margaret Cho--I can't imagine her having the greatest attitude.  Bristol Palin--why?  Just why?  What did she do to earn a spot on DWTS?  She wound up pregnant out of wedlock.  I'm sorry that doesn't take talent and it doesn't make you a star to be danced with on national television.  It just doesn't recommend her to me as a viewer.  Florence Henderson?  Oh, please, don't let this be another Buzz Aldrin catastrophe.  Don't get me wrong.  Go Buzz! for getting out there.  But you and I both know that there were moments when it was just painful to watch.  Paaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinfuuuuuuuuuuuuulll.  And slow.  Brandy--hmmmmm.  I don't really like her, and there's no good reason why.  I just don't like her.  There's no reason.  I just don't.

And the guys:
  1. Michael Bolton
  2. Rick Fox
  3. David Hasselhoff
  4. Kyle Massey
  5. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino
  6. Kurt Warner

Ok, I don't really have much to say here.  Michael Bolton--no particular expectations.  Rick Fox--who is that?  Basketball player...hmph.  David Hasselhoff.  Hope he stays sober.  Kyle Massey.  Really?  That's so not Raven.  I'll be interested to see how "The Situation" handles ballroom.  I have a hard time believing that he can channel all of that machismo into twinkle toes.  Kurt Warner--I thought we already had our token male athlete.  Guess it's a two-for.

Honestly, I'm really not too jazzed about this season's lineup, but it's something to watch.  Maybe it will all turn out for the best.  When you go in with no expectations, you usually find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Attention People Who Build Playgrounds!

Hey, all you people out there that build playgrounds:  First of all, thanks for your effort to build play areas that are age appropriate.  But, could I make just one little suggestion?  When you're constructing these fabulous toddler play areas, go ahead and expend the extra effort to fence them in, because when a toddler see's the big kids' playground contraptions, their age appropriate stuff pales in comparison.  I get it--I totally get it.  So, then they're running toward the big kids' stuff all giggly and happy and squealing and, as a mom, how can you say no to such unbridled joy.  Suddenly, there you are--at the playground where you were supposed to let your kid play until he or she wore their self out, but the only person who's going to need a nap after this little excursion is you.  Have you ever chased a toddler up and down and up and down and up and down one of those things?  It's like climbing Mt. Everest over and over.  There's a reason they don't make those things for grown-ups.  Grown ups like things like elevators, escalators, and massage tables.  Without that separation fence, a day at the playground becomes a work day. A Work Day.  All of the awesome things you were going to do during nap time get flushed down the toilet because you need a nap too.

So please, do us all a favor.  Fence it in!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Guilty Pleasures

Ok, I admit it--I love the sweet sounds of a toddler who's gone to bed.  I usually let D take a toy to bed--it's usually this crazy annoying apple with lights and buttons and the most irritating simulated voice ever!  But, that apple means that I've finally clocked out for the day.  I feel so bad, though.  After working to teach other people's kids all day I pick up my little boy, drive home, cook dinner, serve dinner, snuggle, bathe, read, tuck in, cook dinner, serve dinner (for the adults) and then I get to sit down.  The whole time my brain is like, "PLEASE!  Can I shut down now?  We're in physical pain, here.  Why aren't we sitting down?  Why aren't we soaking it up in a hot bath?  Why aren't we in pajama pants with our make-up off and our hair piled up on top of our head!?"  (Apparently, my brain thinks it is its own entity, hence the plural first person pronoun.)

So, here I am.  I've got Castle on the DVR, dinner is on its way, and the little man is asleep.  I guess he is--I don't here that torturous apple.  And I'm enjoying it.  That's right.  Part of me feels bad because I figure that after a day separated from my precious man that I should keep him up as late as he can stand it so that we can spend time together.  The other part is all, "No, he needs to stick to his routine...that's the real reason we put him to bed at 7:00 on the nose.  It has nothing to do with the fact that the couch has been talking to us since we walked in the door.  Beckoning us to rest on its soft cushiony goodness."  (That usage of "we" is in the regal sense--just in case you're wondering.)  But both sides are thinking, "Aaaah.  Finally.  Bring on the sweet oblivion."

Monday, August 23, 2010

Facebook Dreams

Last night I spent time on Facebook before I went to bed and I dreamt about old friends all night.  I distinctly remember sitting at a food court table with old friends.  So I had that nostalgic feeling all day.

In other news--does anyone else out there have a two-year-old who is acting like he's possessed all of the sudden?  Daniel has started yelling and spitting to demonstrate how angry he is.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  What was God thinking when he made me a mom?  How am I going to raise this kid and keep him from being a psychopath?  Am I the only one?

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Ahhh. Saturday / Ugh. Saturday

I'm always torn about Saturday. Here I am after the first week of school. I'm tired and overstimulated. On the one hand, I want to sit here and vegetate, watch TV, blog, take a nap, finish a book. Absolutely nothing productive. I'm thinking: no make-up, pajama pants, and a pillow on the couch.

On the other hand, Saturday is the one day that I have to get things done, run errands. I find myself waking up with the "to-do" list in my head.
* go grocery shopping
* laundry laundry laundry
* lesson plans
* make posters for the classroom
* the floors look pretty nasty
* the dog is dirty again
* the car smells of sour milk and stale goldfish
and the list goes on. Voila--a snowball in the dead of summer.

So, what will it be? Hmmmmm. I think I'll sleep on it.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Blog Is Back

Ok, so I'm blogging again.  Oh yeah!  Get excited.  A new job, a new school, a new year (educationally speaking)--I figured now is as good a time as ever.

Starting a new blog, it's important to come out with some awesome post right off the bat...but I got nothin'.  Here lately the most exciting part of my week is Castle.  How did I miss that for the first two seasons?  I mean I seriously love this show.  A couple of weeks ago they tortured me with a two-part episode and I nearly went into convulsions when I realized I had to wait a whole seven days for the conclusion.  It wasn't even on YouTube or Hulu!  What is that about?  Of course, there was a DVR full of House there to console me thanks to an all-day viewer's choice marathon.  (By the way, has anyone out there ever been one of the "viewers" choosing?  No one's ever asked me which episode I'd like to see.  I'm just sayin'...)  Come to think of it...that DVR owns me.  How did I ever live without it?  I mean, TV with commercials!?  Nobody makes Baby watch commercials.  The great thing about Castle is that it doesn't lose it's appeal during the seven days' wait.  Not so with our dearly departed 24.  I finally caught the fever in season 7, but the Hubby and I rented seasons 1-6 and watched them feverishly throughout.  There was never a dull moment.  While we waited for the next season 7 episode, we caught up via DVD.  Not a day passed without a little Jack Bauer.  We waited breathlessly for season 8, hoping beyond hope that they would renew for a miraculous season 9.  But when season 8 came, the seven day wait between episodes built up impossible expectations.  Some of the episodes were awesome, but on the weeks when it was just one of those filler episodes...big let down.  I do miss the anticipation, though.  It made Mondays bearable.

Like I said, the DVR owns me.