Monday, October 4, 2010

Story Night on Dancing

Ok, so I'm a little behind, but I was on the quest for a binky when Dancing started.  Warning:  I give my opinion freely about some rather sensitive issues, so if you can't handle it, stop here. :)

Jennifer Grey is dancing the Samba...and cursing about it...IN THE UGLIEST PANTS EVER!  Oooo a Samba roll--they're eating sushi?  But what a cute dance.  I'm officially hot for teacher.  I loved that they proved that they could do the moves that they messed up on.  Am I the only one who thinks Jennifer is just a little on the loopy side?

Florence is dancing the Venetian waltz...and making us all cry with her story about her husband.  She's really sweet when she's not being dirty.  I did not know that she'd gotten her start on Broadway.  She played Maria Von Trapp in front of Maria Von Trapp.  Gross!  Did they just kiss?  The waltz was a little clunky.  Carrie Anne is always so mushy and touchy feely.  She kind of gives me the heebie jeebies.

Dude!  What is it with these divas!?  First it was Bolton, now Susan Boyle has a throat infection.  Drama, drama, drama.

Kurt Warner is right--he does look like a big tree funning around the dance floor...and Gene Kelly now that he has the umbrella.  The fact that he wore a tiara while having a tea party with his daughters is awesome.  I don't think that Len is going to like the pantomiming in the beginning of the dance.  he usually wants them to just get to the dancing.  But, it is story night, so maybe he'll feel differently.   Bruno kills me with the "frying pan" hands bit!  I didn't like their waltz as much as the judges did.

Cho Cho's dancing the Samba.  Here we go.  Forgive me, but Louis always has to do some relatively controversial and somehow make it all about him and his sexual persuasion.  Look, I'll shoot strait with you--I DON'T CARE.  Last season it was him and Nissi and mixed gender relationships and somehow that got back to him and gay marriage, sniff sniff, tear tear.  I really don't like to have gay pride thrown in my face.  What are the hetero pride colors and how would the community at large feel if we started celebrating that?  Is heterosexuality still cool?  When are we going to see that dance?  Guess what, heterosexual teenagers commit suicide too.  No offense to anyone out there.  I could care less about sexual persuasion and I don't want yours thrown in my face.  And the dance wasn't even good.

Dude.  Audrina's dance actually made me a little teary.  Then, Tom ruined it by calling Tony the smoke monster from Lost.  I really liked the dance and I'm impressed with Audrina.  Why can't we clap as loudly for for the troops as we did for the previous demonstration?  Tony waxed his legs--that's awesome

I'm proud of Bristol for promoting abstinence as a real option for teenage girls.  The fox trot was sweet, but lackluster.  The story didn't come through.  I think she needs to get more into her character.  But she is doing well for someone who has never danced before.  Did you see Bruno nearly smack Len in the head when he rolled his?

Brandy...still don't like her.  Maks slaps her on the bottom a lot.  The Bodygaurd?  Really?  Brandy, Whitney Houston you ain't.  Whatever.  I thought the dance was cute.  Brandy loves the body roll.  Len didn't like the bottom slapping and Bruno practically redanced the dance for us.  Don't call Brandy a Diva--her head is big enough already.  Oooo Carrie Anne was looking for some Maks "Tush" and got DENIED!  However, Maks got some Tom tush.  I thought the dance was good.  But just in case you missed it--I don't like Brandy.

Here comes Kyle!  That is the first time I've ever heard the words "meet cute" outside of the movie Holiday.  I love kyle for making out with himself.  Why is she a waitress with a bare midrift?  His dancing was so much better this week.  Seriously, Carrie Anne embarrasses me.  Len didn't like the footwork.  Pbbbbbbbt! :(

Extra:  I should start a Twitter account called "@#$! My Dad Says About Dancing With the Stars."  Last week he said Lacey was built like a Russian female wrastler (yes that's an a, not an e) that she has a rear end about like this (holding hands out wide).  I love her--she's not a waif and I can identify with that.

The Situation tries to dance ballroom to hip hop.  He cannot stop thinking about sex!  Awesome, she's wearing a GTD shirt (gym, tan, dance).  Awe, he doesn't want an elimination situation.  Now we're going to time travel fox trot.  Ok, so his carriage is better, but his clunkiness is sad.  Did anyone notice the horrible accent when the band was singing the Boom Boom Pow lyrics?  I thought he tried hard and I can respect that.  Yes, I put "respect" and "The Situation" in the same thought.  One point twenty one gigawats!?  (I just wanted to say it.)

Rick is going to dance the Samba, but he looks like a sasquatch.  Big Foot like Cheryl.  Big Foot trust Cheryl.  Eiw!  Old man chest.  Did you catch The Situation checking his own abs to reassure himself that his abs were better?  I thought it was a good dance.  There were some dancing tree moments for Rick.  Maybe I'm just not used to seeing a tall guy dance ballroom.  Cheryl's hot.  I'm a girl, so I can say that.

Recap:  Jennifer Grey does a Samba roll, which sounds delicious, Florence kisses Corky this week, Kurt goes pinkies out and wears a tiara, Cho Cho and Louis put on a gay pride parade,  Audrina dances with the smoke monster from Lost, Bristol is sweet but lackluster, Brandy and Maks slap people around, Kyle is just adorable but Len doesn't like it, The Situation and Karina coin a new catch phrase--GTD--and dance a freaky futuristic Foxtrot, and Rick Fox had to prove to Cheryl that he could be sexy.

Gotta Go!  Castle's on.

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